So as many of you may have seen in the news recently, Pope Benedict XVI has recently shocked the world by announcing that contraception is okay in certain situations: like for male prostitutes. Now....I get the male prostitute logic about not spreading diseases, but its kind of funny to imagine him just sitting there and saying, yeah male prostitutes should be able to use condems. And even funnier that he still doesn't think its okay for the rest of the Catholic community to use them.
According to my friend Alex, the Catholic Church says that elements of both "love and procreation" are necessary in the act of sexual intercourse. He also says the Church has a "no blowjob" rule. (On a side note, I think under that logic most of the world is going to hell).
Anyways, I have a solution for the Pope-a. Redefine protected sex as something entirely different. Now, I know the you church-goers will say that sex is sex is sex is sex, and sex must always contain a risk of procreation. Yeah yeah yeah...well, just imagine this headline.
"Pope Announces Protected Sex Is No Longer Sex, It Is Now 'Funky Time' (In a German accent)"
Funky Time will allow protected sexual intercourse for everyone, young adults who don't want children too early, any persons with sexual diseases (not just male prostitutes [does the church have something against homosexuals?] will be able to not worry about spreading their genital ailment, and is lube already cool, cuz Alex's priest says its cool by him ZINGG
Anyways....C'mon Big Poppy the Church needs to go with the times. Even married people don't want children so we can let sex be sex, but we need to have something for everyone who doesn't want to have children but still need to get their freak on. So I say, LET THERE BE FUNKY TIME....and blowjobs.
No comments:
Post a Comment